He ain't nothing but a Slum Dog !

- Elvis will leave the building shortly.

Slumdog Millionaire.Everyone knows about the movie... It has already won 4 golden globes , and will probably scalp a few at the oscars. I do not wish to give a synopsis because it would be too short and contain spoilers like :
" You know what , he actually won the 20 million rupees" ( Yes, lets face it, as weird as the phrase "Million Rupees" sounds, the Indian show is called 'Who wants to be a Millionaire' (Or Milinaer as the glorious host puts it)..Oh wait, make that 20 , and (getting back to the spoilers)
"Hey, he actually gets the girl of his dreams" and " Hey, his brother actually gets punished for being a bad boy !" and " Hey there's Irfan Khan in the movie " :).

Total thumbs up for the screenplay and the Music which kept the viewer's senses locked to the movie. But this being a critical blog based on satire, it would make little sense to sing praises. So let's analyse some glaring screw-ups .. ha ha ... I like!

REBUS:

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• Jamal (the protagonist) basically grew up with his brother Salim who had incredible control over the Hindi Swear language, as clearly portrayed by his utterances at the age of somewhere less than 5.( I mean when we were saying a little more than gaga goo goo, he was saying ...). Then he grew up etc into a fine young Chaiwala. Hmmm.. where is this headed..OK, here's what happens.. He develops a frikking British accent. Not just him, the people closest to him ( namely Salim and Lathika) do not call him 'Jamaal' anymore , they call him 'Juh'maal'...ya know..by putting Peter. So, slum guy who's been hearing Hindi(&*&^%%^) and Hindi(**&&**%%) develops a completely out of context Brit accent when people who host a show on National Television can't pull off the word 'Millionaire' without sounding retarded.
• Correct me if I'm wrong ( actually don't bother) , but methought these game shows are shot, edited to fine degrees to cut out the good stuff and keep the nonsense and then telecast like a week later or so. Here though, one night he's on the show, the next morning at the police office, and before you know it he's mobbed by fans who want him to win the money, hoping he'd give them a bite.
• It gives the word coincidence a lot of work. Make that co^14 incidence ( 14 questions + except the last one he fluked). And to explain that sort of a story to the cops would be quite a task. Frankly, being a little smarter than Irfan Khan('s character) myself, I definitely wouldn't have bought that story.
• Anil Kapoor.

If you don't mind ignoring the above, you must love the movie and there is a good chance you were part of the Golden Globe evaluation team. Also, you will notice the following points

• Brilliant performances by kids and adults alike ( barring Anil Kapoor), especially young Jamal and younger Jamal.
• The lady of the movie looks equally unpretty at all ages... good job, just going to prove that if you look bad now there is a high probability you will, 20 years from now.
• The Screenplay.
• The slums, the riots, the call center, the undying love for a girl he met when he was 4 , the usage of everyday hindi words by tiny kids etc
• The Music is trademark Rahman : catchy and killer.
• Did I mention Screenplay?

Suggested Ending : After he wins the million, Irfan Khan goes back to his station and stares at the collage on his wall. There is one Newspaper cutting of Lathika Hardware company, one of a most wanted criminal by the name Salim. He then checks out that tumbler that he was having chai from, which is in fact branded Maman and the tea itself being Taj Mahal Tea. Yes, it would've kicked 'The Usual Suspects' in the ....ahem....ok .. family area... tata.

PS: 20 million rupees does not make you a millionaire can you believe . Look !