Less cricket per cricket

I just had to. The IPL is taking the cricketing world (read : My life) by storm. The funda behind the (sophisticated) title is that even though we are swamped with as many as 80 overs of cricket per day, we have over 26 hrs of so called cricketing broadcast everyday.

Here is a list of piss-offs and a list of awesomes that the IPL has given rise to .

Piss - Offs - !
Awesomes - +

! Repetitive broadcast of Jilpaanx Shetty's blank face - which has no idea of how to change expression depending on the performance of her team.
+ The Miss Bollywood contest - lame as it sounds, it still makes the cut.


! Waiting for Lacks Man Vishnubrahmakrishnan to say something with a purpose and not just - " That has hit the bat and rolls away on the ground towards the fielder at point who gets his hands down and fields it with both his hands and gets up and looks towards the keeper. He now digs his nose .... "
+ Robin Jackman and Harsha Bhogle showing what commentary really is.


! The strategic timeout - just when you've found a cozy spot in the hall.
+ If it results in a wicket of the opposition.


! The soooper Umpiring of many like Mr. Bad Hexer who would lift the right fingers at exactly the wrong times. Wish someone would raise the wrong finger at them. Oh oh, did I mention 3rd umpiring decisions ? There is enough technology to tell you everything about the action, just short of making a decision by itself. What was that Symond's stumping all about anyways??
+ If the wrong decision goes in favour of your team.


! The fielding of the team you are supporting.
+ The fielding of the opposition.


! Not being able to change your Fantasy Cricket trump player before the next match.
+ Realising that the player who would've been your trump, if you had the opportunity, gets out for a duck.


! Watching Jilpaanx's team win those incredibly close games and Ambumani's /Rukh Ja Khan's losing them.
+ Watching Jushit Shawarma hit 21 off the last over.


! Beergalore Cheerleaders
+ GultiGaaru's Cheerleaders


! This Guy.
+ This Guy.


! "Khuda Jaane" being played with such frequency that people, like me, who do not know hindi start humming it.
+ The (place where animals are kept)(place where animals are kept)s.


! Ads being played as soon as the last ball of the over is bowled, thereby screwing any possibility of watching the replay of a good shot off that ball.
+ The horn like sounds made by the DJ and the consequent cheering by the SA junta.


! Watching A Run Red using words like "Niyanthran" and "Anuchith" and not knowing WTF he's talking about.
+ Same as above. :)


! Watching Shanti Bedi (With the short hair and majorly degraded sex appeal) trying to sound interesting in all her interviews.
+ The organisers donating generously to the schools in SA, indicating once again that they have an incredible amount of money.


! Going blech at the site of Modis Operandi signing autographs at the stadium. Seriously ! - Puke , Puke.
+ Watching the kind of crowds that turn up to watch the tournament.


! Failures of players like Shave-Wag ,Batmansidekick Fatdosawithtoppings, Sorrow Gang Ooly and I'll be Snorkel.
+ The oldies - especially the ex Oz openers, the Beergalorean who just had a kid and the Beergalorean captain.

All said, the IPL is a phenomenon (as opposed to Gautam or Unni or Kay Kay) and is here to stay... and stealing a line from a high calorie ad - I'm loving it.

PS : If you're on twitter, follow me here ...click it... noww.

Recession is a beach...Still

And we're back !
So the lay off happened - - link - - So when people would ask me how it felt to be laid off, I'd say " It's an eye opener" , "Thank god this happened - Now life is a lot more interesting", "Now I can really do what I like doing" - All Bullshit. Fact is, I don't really know what I like doing ! And even if I do want to venture out into the unknown, who's gonna pay me more than peanuts? (Tamil Makkal Warning : Previous line has nothing to do with talking to girls.) But i tried. Little. But I did. Applied to 2 Ad firms through acquaintances of people who are known to people that I vaguely know. So frankly, I have no clue whether the application actually made it through.But yes, lots of hard work. I'd walk into office everyday (2 in no.) and apply indiscriminately. Spammed every company I knew. And the one's I did not. Referred this and spammed. Naukri and spammed. Monster and spammed. Built product and spammed. Had pee break and spammed. Lunch and spammed.Breathe - Spam - Breathe - Spam - Spam - Spam - Spam - CPR -Spam -Spam - Pam - Pam - Spam. Companies were now getting more emails with subject "Job Application" than "Is your drilling machine letting you down ?".

Apparently, none of these companies were recruiting. At least I got that impression from the way they replied to my mails. They didn't. But this whole referral system was working out. All these bigger companies (unlike Vinidqustomerz), had a referral system/ Job portal. So it became easy to trick people into thinking that you are good. It also helps if you have a legacy of giving people the impression that you are stud, which was the case with me. Luckily it worked and I got 3 interview calls. One from the Abode of Barry Allen , one from a company that rhymed with (What you do with a straw)(4 letter expletive) - - (Henceforth referred to as Joe) and another with Hot-Woks, a Chinese restaurant.

Joe had an hour long telephonic interview in which they tested my auditory skills and understanding of amit_123 English apart from the less important coding and algorithms. Somehow after that interview, I din't really feel like working there. As it turned out, they felt the same way about my future :)

Then came Hot-Woks. I was pretty surprised that a Chinese Restaurant would test potential employees with an aptitude test and a code-pairing session, leave alone a technical interview for an hour and a half. I was pretty impressed by their selection process.What I had no clue about was that Hot-Woks had diversified into IT consulting and was in the process of recruiting Software Developers. Now THAT is diversification.

My interview with HW had gone well so when I received a call from the Abode of Barry Allen, I approached it half-heartedly. The ABA was a big company that manufactured fireworks, had a training program for acrobats, set up shops that sell photos and most importantly encouraged women at Mardi-Gras do outrageous things. So yeah, getting into the Abode (look what I did there ?) is a tough task. The interview questions were pretty simple but my answers sounded stupid. Even to me. Once the interview was done, I was politely asked to leave.

Meanwhile, things at Hot-Woks were brewing (and there ?). The person who referred me to the person who had referred me to Hot-Woks told me that I got the job. Once I heard that, I
began spamming the HR in their head office. Guess what. I got the job.

As a result, this post will not be going into its Parts 3,4 and 5 which were originally planned.